Autopsy  (1973)

After being released in a cut to shit format many years ago, Italian gore fanatics have been hoping for an uncut version of this film to become available. Thanks to Anchor Bay it finally has, and it was definitely worth the wait. I would compare this film to the style of Dario Argento.

The story is basically a murder mystery with lots of twists and turns and a genuinely surprising ending. The strangest thing about this movie would have to be the hallucinations the lead character experiences while she is working in the morgue. She sees bodies moving, getting up, and in one scene two cadavers start having sex. It’s not as graphic as some would want, but the scenes in question are still very disturbing.

This movie also has a fair amount of blood, but if you were looking for a gorefest this really wouldn’t be my first pick. The Anchor Bay re-release comes in a clam shell case, with a few extras, so if you want to add an obscure film to your collection, you can’t go wrong with Autopsy. – Mike Hochins

The Beyond (1981)

The movie starts off in the past with a man below a hotel being caught by a town mob saying he is evil & has cursed the hotel and the town (the hotel was constructed over one the seven gates to hell). They crucify him and throw some boiling goop onto his face repeatedly burning his flesh off and killing him.

Key to the present where a woman and man buy the hotel. The woman runs into a blind girl with a seeing-eye dog & the blind girl  warns the woman to leave because of the curse. But she won’t of course. The crucified man (now zombie) returns and all goes to hell. An extremely graphic and sick gory movie. Director Lucio Fulci is the grand wizard of gore!  - Dale Roy

Bloodsucking Freaks (1976)

The movie starts off with a so-called magician named Sardu and his midget side kick, putting on a show of women being tortured to death. The audience eats it up and does not realize the horror they are watching is real & thinking it is fake special effects. A horrific concept and well done here.

The master and his midget follower have fun throughout the flick as they abduct many women and enjoy torturing them and killing them in many ways. Such as teeth pulling, amputation, dismemberment, by chainsaw, electrocution and so on. They proceed to abduct the appropriate people for their grand show which combines torture, cannibalism, and sadism with musical ballet. A female dancer is tortured and coerced into beating a man half to death during her dancing routine. It sounds weird, I know and it is but it seems to work for me.

I wont give away the ending but this is one sick movie with maybe the most full frontal nudity I have ever scene this side a porno movie! It is almost hard to believe a movie this good came from Trauma.

C.H.U.D. (1984)

Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dweller’s or Contamination Hazard Urban Disposal? It depends on which way you look at it. The nuclear waste which is being stored underneath a large city, is contaminating the sewer occupying denizens. The effects of this waste make people severely disfigured, extremely violent, and well cannibalistic.

Of course, no movie of this nature would be complete without a government cover up. This does actually contain a very average amount of gore and dismemberment but those scenes are good. To top it off there is even a scene which features a dog’s corpse hanging from a hook. As with many mid-80s horror films there are some appearances from some now respected actors. John Heard (Home Alone, etc), Daniel Stern (also Home Alone & voice of Kevin Arnold in that cheezy family sitcom The Wonder Years) and a 30 second cameo at the end of the film from John Goodman.

I do recommend this movie, as a little thought has been put into the plot unlike today’s trendy so called modern horror. To me, a few beers and a movie like C.H.U.D. make for a good night. Ignore the stupid sequel though.  – Jeffrey Kusbel

Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things (1972)

“After the amazing success of George Romero’s 1968 zombie shocker, “Night of the Living Dead”, New Orleans-born Benjamin “Bob” Clark, after working on several forgettable movies, decided to film a send-up of the horror classic and with fellow University of Miami student, Alan Ormsby, they set about creating the now-classic fright spoof “Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things”. The premise is simple – Ormsby plays a full-of-himself director named Alan (probably THE most obnoxious character in a horror movie until Franklin Hardesty came around in “Texas Chainsaw Massacre”) who brings a group of actors to a burial island off the coast of Florida in order to film a movie.

What the actors don’t know is that Alan and some friends have set up an elaborate joke to play on the actors once they reach the island which, of course, backfires horrendously. As in nearly every zombie movie to date, the group is forced to take refuge in a nearby dwelling, this time the cemetery caretaker’s home, and all hell breaks loose.

The movie is VERY dated – the clothing the actors wear are SO early 70s, you have to wonder what everyone during that time was thinking (or smoking) when they got dressed every day. The cast isn’t bad at all, although nearly all of them go by their real first names which helps if you get confused but have a cast list handy. The first part of the movie drags a bit as Alan plays the Little Dictator to his motley group (and you just keep wishing a zombie WOULD hurry up and have a munch on him!) but give this film time. It does tend to grow on you.

The zombies are the best part. For a 1972 film made on a budget of $50,000, which would have been a pretty good chunk of change back then, it shows in the SFX, some of which were also done by Renaissance man, Alan Ormsby. The zombies are still the Romero shamblers but in “Children”, they do occasionally show a spark of “difference”, especially in the final scene (you’ll know what I mean when you see it). There aren’t any steaming entrails or much gore but, for this film anyway, it doesn’t take anything away from the movie. It’s still creepy – filmed at night in an eerie cemetery, Orville the corpse kept around for “good luck” or something, the scenes when the zombies are revived and mightily honked off at that (there’s just something about seeing a rotting hand shoot out of the ground that gets me every time!). It’s a fun movie and can be purchased at places like Amazon for dirt cheap – all zombie fans should have a copy.
Also, if the name Bob Clark sounds familiar, he went on to direct what is arguably the first slasher movie, the horrifying “Black Christmas” (1974), the teen sex romp, “Porky’s” (1982) and everyone’s favorite holiday movie, “A Christmas Story” (“You’ll shoot your EYE out!”) (1983).”

- Well I took (note the quotation marks, I am not taking credit) this online somewhere, I honestly cannot find or remember where, I took it ages ago and saved it in my horror review file, just remind myself to do my own review on this movie as I own it and like it. But screw it, I like this review so I will keep it on here. I am sure I will be forgiven…

City of The Walking Dead  (1980)

“Where the rent is an arm and a leg!” Damn this movie went under a lot of titles in a bunch of different countries. Here’s the run down for foreign fans and collectors: La Invasion de los Zombies Atomicos, Incubo sulla citta contaminata, & Nightmare City.

The movie starts out focusing on a no-nonsense reporter named Dean Miller. It seems, in recent news events, there was a contamination leak at a local atomic power plant, and one of the original site directors, Professor Otto Hagenback just happens to be coming into town. Miller is assigned to the interview.  While waiting at the airport for the Professor an unmarked and non-responsive plane makes an unauthorized landing. Miller and his camera man decide to go check it out. Alongside a whole platoon of government army troops. To their surprise and bewilderment the door flies open and out bursts a shit load of zombies – some brandishing weapons. One point I want to make to zombie fanatics like myself do not expect the classic type of zombie you might see in a Romero flick.

These zombies also die with a shot to the head, but they look more human or only recently decaying if you will. They also are quick and agile and can think doing things like cutting phone cords and what not. I like the classic zombie more myself but the action and gore within is nothing to sneeze at. There are some great sick scenes including one where the zombies invade a tv studio and kill camera men and a whole set of aerobics people who are taping a show!! Very cool! Oh I mustn’t forget to mention if you like tits like I do you will love the fact you get to see a lot of nice pairs on a regular basis throughout the movie. In fact, one bitch gets her breast ripped off! The film has a strange, quirky and eerie feel to it and the plot is a bit spotty at times but that  tends to go with the territory on Italian gore flicks.

I love how they introduce some characters, let you get to know them and think “they will survive”, only to be beaten and eaten a minute later. I like that. I really enjoyed the utterly chaotic scene after scene of zombies ravaging a hospital. I won’t get too much into the end of the film but I think I can recommend this to zombie fans and especially fans of Italian horror flicks. Yeah it is bad but is also good if you know what I mean?  – Dale Roy

Dagon (2001)

Gore meister Director / Writer Stuart Gordon (Re-Animator, From Beyond etc…) makes a welcome return conjuring up an on screen version of H.P. Lovecraft’s “The Shadow Over Innsmouth”. I was lucky enough to see this not just on the little screen but also on the big screen at it’s East coast premiere in New Jersey. I was excited and the fact I bought as soon as it came out on DVD should tell you, my excitement was well justified.

The film opens off the coast of Spain, where young couple Paul and Barbara who are vacationing on their friends boat (an older husband and wife named Howard and Vicki). Paul our main star (who bears an uncanny resemblance to Jeffrey Combs, a Gordon regular) in most respects, is far from a bad ass but more like an uptight business power broker type but he has a certain flair to him that balances out his bungling, wuss like tendencies. I dig the general tapestry of this film as well, it seems once things get strange that everything is always dark, it is misty and raining outside, black and moist. The pacing of the film is good, it is quick but not so quick as to skip by stuff you need / would like to know, skillful suspense.

Needless to say their boat wrecks, Helen is hurt so Paul and Barbara take off to the nearby coastal village for help. There they are greeted by helpful if not creepy and eccentric townspeople who do not have a working telephone but will go rescue their friends and rent them a room in the only hotel in town which features rooms covered in dust, rust, danky mildew and puddle water coming from the dirt encrusted sink and shower. To cut to the chase a bit, it turns out that the town have sold their soul to an underwater god many years previous, who lavishes them literally with fish, food and gold. Paul learns by way of a local drunk name Ezequiel that the townspeople are slowly transforming into squid-like life forms that will allow them to live in the water. Some are further along with their particular mutation / evolution and the ones evolving more slowly draw visitors as with some simple disguise can hide their deformities, others can no longer walk, because some they now have tentacles instead of legs and arms. With Ezequiel's help, Paul searches the town for Barbara, who suddenly disappeared after checking into the hotel, all the while getting into all sorts of misfortune and fright. Along the way he sees the horror of what the people have done to themselves.

Dagon is not a gore fest but blood and gore are presented very well and effectively, the face cutting / defleshing scene involving Ezequiel in particular was superb in a stomach turning way. I won’t give away too much more of the plot but it involves a promised woman Paul has dreamt about for years and Dagon himself. Good film, check it out and enjoy.  ~ Dale

Dawn of The Dead (1978)

(Directors cut showing 11 minutes of gore cut from original)

I wanted to review this as I reviewed Night Of The Living Dead last issue. This is by writer / director extraordinaire George A. Romero. Who stayed true to his vision and made killer zombie movies in 5 straight decades!

The movie begins in the thick of the chaos (right here in Philly interestingly enough), the zombies have risen and begun to feast sending inhabitants the world over fleeing for safety. There's some great gore and flesh chewing scenes when the police task force rushes an apartment complex destroying zombies on site. A small group (3 men (two from the police task force) and 1 woman) escapes the building in a helicopter. From the helicopter ride you get to see how the walking corpses have spread across the country. The group makes one re-fuelling stop fighting off zombies. Then finally they land on top of a shopping mall where they figure they can hole-up and gather some supplies. I really like this set up and story a lot. Some have said this movie is slow moving but to me you are just missing the genius of it. In my book the slow build up of the plot creates an amazing oppressive atmosphere and hopelessness that is almost suffocating to watch!

After a long series of events including a still living biker gang invading the sealed up mall creating a 3 way conflict between the two groups and the zombies. Only 2 of the group of 4 make it out alive and fly trying to find an island to land on where they can kill off the zombies and not worry about more coming. The film ends after they escape ending a true classic in good form. Remember When there is no more room in hell, the dead shall walk the earth!  – Dale Roy

Day of The Dead (1985)

I present you the triumvirate of zombie classick’s! I reviewed (issue # 3 + 4) the other two zombie flicks by the master George A. Romero. Who taught us all a lesson in dedication to what you love (like us with metal!) and this motherfucker made a zombie movie in 3 separate decades (‘60s, ‘70s, & ‘80s)!!

This movie is set in an underground military missile silo. Where the only known living (from the zombies ravaging the entire planet feasting on & exterminating the living) which consists of some soldiers and a handful of scientists. The soldiers capture zombies from outside the compound and in the nearby city and keep them in a holding pen like cattle. Where they sit until Doctor Frankenstein as they call him, conducts utterly graphic and gore filled experiments using them as guinea pigs to figure out ways to control the zombies and what makes them tick.

The tension mounts between the scientists / helicopter pilot and the soldiers and it soon becomes a blood filled battle between the scientists and soldiers set among legions of zombies. The zombies get their revenge and the feasting scene at the end of the movie is something you will never forget and probably the longest, greatest zombie munch sequence ever put to film. A must see Bub and remember Romero is a horror god!!  - Dale Roy

Don't Torture A Duckling  (1972)

When most people think of Lucio Fulci, the first thing they think of is gore. And I would have to agree with that. The director’s films always had great atmosphere, wonderful music, and tons of blood and guts. However, this film is one of his earlier films and despite a pretty vicious chain whipping scene, this doesn’t compare to his gorier films. The movie tells the story of a murder mystery happening in a small town. Children in the city are turning up dead and the police have few clues. Suspects are questioned, but you truly don’t know whom the killer is until near the end of the movie.

Although this probably isn’t Fulci’s most well known films, it probably is one of the better plots he has directed. Let’s face it his classic movies are definitely gory, but they lack when it comes to plot. This film has plot twists, and for it’s age, it still comes across as a quality film today. Anchor Bay has re-released this as part of the Lucio Fulci collection in a very sleek looking collector’s case.    – Mike Hochins

Don't Be Afraid of The Dark (1978)

 I finally found a copy of one of the creepiest made for tv movies ever!!. I caught this on tv when I was about 10 one Saturday afternoon and it just scared the piss out of me. Shit, this thing still spooks me. The story is centered around an old house (I’d go as far as say mansion) and the new owners and the little mean bastard monsters that live in the fireplace.

Everything was cool until that one door in the house was opened, the handyman warned the Mrs. not to go in there. The bitch of course doesn’t listen cause all she can think about is turning the room into a study and sitting in front of the fire place with a book. The only thing is the fireplace has been sealed off with bricks and cement. What the hell for she ask’s? The handyman knows why, but I’ll get to that a little later. Soon after strange things start happening, voice’s are heard and they keep calling the woman to the basement. The husband of course thinks his wife is cracking up and is really pissed at her for acting so nutty.

I got to give credit to the little monster guy’s (they look like the midget version’s of the thing that was in the basement from Fulci’s (“House By the Cemetery”) they were quite patient in the beginning with the lady, all they asked for was her soul and to come down to the basement and join them. Oh no, she had to be a hard ass so they decided to get violent. Ahh, now this is where the fun begins. They try n’cut her with a blade in the shower but no luck,  as soon as the woman flicks the lights on they head for the hills. Go figure, their afraid of light. Now, these guy’s are really irate so as soon as they find out the husband will be out of town the next couple of days they will get this bitch!!  They waste no time the following night, they start off by killing the interior decorator who stopped by to smooth over plans for his work to be started. These little freaks trip the poor guy down the stairs breaking his neck. The lady is a wreck by now and her friend who's decided to stay and keep her company while the husbands away calls in the police and doctor. The doctor gives her the once over and gives her some sleeping pills. She of course wants no part of the sleeping pills, she can’t fall asleep knowing what’s coming to get her!!

By now the husband is notified of what happened and decides to pay a visit to the handyman who by the way was fired for feeding his wife lines about the fireplace being “dangerous” and better left alone. The handy man spills some of the beans about the fireplace and the creatures that inhabit it. The husband is not buying it, and the handyman now fears for his life for what little he told of the monsters. Well, the phone starts ringing in the midst of the conversation and it’s the wife. Incoherent due to the sleeping pills the phone goes dead and out goes the handyman and husband headed to the house. Meanwhile the monsters manage to cut the power to the house and lock the wife’s friend outside the house. The camera zooms a shot of the monsters making their way up the stairs with rope to get their victim.  Suddenly we witness the three little monsters dragging and pulling the doped up woman down the stairs and closer and closer to the basement. She tries like hell to escape but alas down the fireplace the woman goes...The end!! No over the top gore, no expansive special effects instead a good old fashion scare fest. Believe me you’ll never forget this one.   – Bill Conolly

From Beyond (1986)

Based on the very short story by H.P. Lovecraft this movie delves deep into a twisted idea. A brilliant scientist discovers a way to feel ultimate pleasure and have unsurpassed knowledge. He develops a machine that opens a doorway to another dimension that he learns how to control and use for his own purposes. While in this dimension the pineal gland in humans is somehow affected and people can be easily seduced.

The scientist's assistant really gets fucked in this movie. He has all of his hair removed by some kind of giant worm with teeth and he later ends up in a hospital eating human brains out of storage containers! Very cool to see! Not a typical film for the horror/sci-fi genre and I think everyone should see this at least once.  – Jeffrey Kusbel

Guinea Pig: Mermaid In A Manhole

You’ve got to hand it to the Japanese-not only did they built an awesome Fascist Empire in WW2, but even to this day they are extreme, making some of the most sick films imaginable.  It is amazing how you hear American moralists ranting about how “extreme Hollywood is”, Hollywood films are nothing compared to these Japanese films.

In fact, this was probably one of the few films to be banned in Japan, due to that idiot Charlie Sheen getting hold of one of the videos in this series (Captured Co-Ed) & sending it to the CIA claiming it was snuff!  What a moron! On to the film itself however.   I have often myself thought that to really make art, you must be mentally disturbed-this film perhaps supports my theory, as it is based around the final days of a Japanese painter who you soon discover isn’t all there.  His wife having left him a month before, each day he goes to his “secret place”, a sewer full of death & decay.  There amongst the polluted water, he draws the decay, such as a dead fetus.  When he finds his dead guinea pig Chibi  (yeah, a bit of a in-joke perhaps?) he first cries over it, rubbing it on his face-then drops it abruptly, exclaiming - “I am a painter, I must paint Chibi!”  He then hears a splashing, & discovers a beautiful mermaid laying amongst the filth.

He recalls a different time in his life when a river ran in the place of the sewer, full of things such as flowers, dragonflies & friends (“all gone now” he thinks).  He saw a mermaid there once, & asks her if she is the same one. She agrees, explaining that she was trapped in the sewer when the river dried up. He begins to paint her, coming there everyday just to be with her.  He then discovers that she has an infection on her stomach.  He takes her home placing her in a bathtub, & attempts to stop the infection.  However, the mermaid tells him, “I would rather have you paint me.” He begins to paint her in various stages of decay.  The infection gets worse, causing huge, pus filled sores which begin to spread all over her body.  She tells him that “within my body is pus of seven colors” & implores him to slash her infectious wounds with a razor, in order to collect the pus to further enhance the painting.  Her decay becomes worse however-with the sores spreading more & more.  Then worms begin to burst from her sores, to which he frantically picks out of her & puts into a pan.

The scenes of gore & decay in this film are extreme. Despite it being shot on an obviously very low budget (I believe it is even done on video, as opposed to higher-quality film), the gore was extremely well done-it really looks like a mermaid, & it really looks like she is infected. The gore is so extreme that it can really be a gross out.  Perhaps the most interesting thing about this film is that while it’s obviously made for a gore factor, it brings up some interesting points that I mentioned earlier-with art comes sickness.  Is the painter really seeing a mermaid, or something else?  The ending is one of the most killer as well, & really keeps you guessing.  Highly recommended!

Halloween (1978)

This is probably close to my fave horror movie of all-time! The creepy music made by director John Carpenter is the scariest ever, I sought out and ordered the soundtrack to this movie on CD I loved it so much! It starts off with a young boy named Michael Meyers who brutally slaughters his sister on Halloween night.

He then spends his next 15 years in a mental hospital biding his time. He escapes the day before Halloween 15 years later and returns to the small, quiet town of Haddonfield to continue his gory and murderous rampage on his mission to kill his other sister Laurie (Jamie Lee Curtis). You get to see a dog killed, a young man stabbed to the wall with his feet off the ground, a guy boiled and lots more fun. The whole time he is hunting Laurie his old doctor for the last 15 years is hunting Michael Meyers in attempt to not only stop him but to kill him, it is the only way. The masked cold-blooded killer after leaving a trail of dead bodies finds Laurie and attacks her. She fends him off stabbing him with a sewing needle, coat hanger and ect., he keeps coming and cuts her and just before he is about to kill her his old doctor Loomis (whose acting throughout the movie is excellent a key ingredient, also  as a trivia side note: his last name was used as one of the last names of the killers in Scream) shows up and shoots Michael repeatedly and he falls backwards out of a balcony house window.

But when Dr. Loomis looks out the window a moment later he is gone. The blood-chilling music comes in and credits roll but the ending of this movie will serve as the beginning of the Halloween II which I suggest you to rent both at the same and make a day long horror fest like I have done many a time. Beyond classic!!  – Dale Roy

Halloween II (1981)

Number two starts off the exact second the first movie ended (Halloween one was reviewed last issue by the way) which rules! Halloween I ended with the killer Michael Myers (Who had been locked away in a mental institution for 15 years for the murder of his sister) on the verge of killing his (2nd) sister Laurie. When Michaels doctor for all those years shoots Michael repeatedly until he falls out the window. But when Dr. Loomis looks outside for the body it is gone.

Dr. Loomis yells I shot him, call the police! and a neighbor responds "Is this some kind of joke, I'm sick to death with trick or treats tonight". Dr. Loomis gravely says "You have no idea what death is!". Cue the scariest horror movie music ever (the movies theme music) and a great atmosphere and excellent chilling opener to the movie. They rush Laurie to the hospital to tend to her bruises and gapping slit in her arm courtesy of Michael Myers. Michael makes his way to the hospital to finish the job leaving a trail of bodies in his wake. By method of a claw hammer to the head, boiling of nicely formed nurse, needle in the eye ect? In the hospital Laurie discovers it is Michael Myers after her and it is her blood brother (she was adopted and her history hidden by the parents).

A final showdown ensues involving Loomis, Laurie, a nurse and a cop. I wont give away the ending but its not sweet for Michael or Dr. Loomis. Good finish. Fucking great movie, I left out a lot details on purpose for space and so you will have to watch to see it all. Rent or buy Halloween I & II and watch them back to back they are by far most effective this way!  – Dale Roy

Land of The Dead (2005)

ARGH!! The King is back, all hail the King of Zombie movies! The originator, the innovator, the gore munching fiend masturbator is back to give me and you all reading this, the 5 knuckle blood shuffle!

There is a difference between a zombie move and a George A. Romero zombie movie. George directs with and creates a sense of spaciousness and excellent attention to detail, not to mention that when he feels the scene calls for it he will amp up the gore and deliver for us fiends. An example would be the one zombie reaching down a guys throat and pulling out his esophagus and munching the fresh appetizer to it’s human meal. As always he is a master of counter pointing the hopeless dregs of the human social animal and society with a stunning sense of empathy and compassion toward it (the fate of humankind).

It is a true tragedy it has taken this long for someone to finally throw some money at Romero. He was on a great, what I like to call the decades of dedication streak, where he has made zombie flicks in consecutive decades, Night of the Living Dead (1968), Dawn of the Dead (1978), and Day of the Dead (1985). Despite his many efforts, script re-writes, title changes, and development hell resulting in fall through's and fall shorts with funding offers. Apparently it took the success of the first Resident Evil and the Dawn of the Dead remake, for someone to say “hey, this stuff is hot again, maybe we should give some money to the man who made the zombie film genre into what it is”. What is truly remarkable is the man has kept his passion and allegiance to these movies to continue to want to make them for 37 fucking years!!! Longer than I have been alive!

I do have to give Universal some credit for allowing him to go for the “R” rating and there is plenty of gore and blood in here, he really pushed the “R” to it’s limit, possibly even stretching the envelope in places. Land of the Dead follows the same basic structure as the three previous Dead movies: A group of live human beings barricade themselves within a fortified setting in an inevitably doomed attempt to hold back the hordes of hungry dead. With each movie, however, Romero has raised the stakes and commented on the era in which the movie was made. Thus, 1979’s Dawn of the Dead was a statement about consumerism and the “me” attitude of the Seventies, set in a shopping mall, while 1985’s Day of the Dead focused on the blind militarism of the Reagan era and unfolded in a bunker. This time, Romero zeroes in on the increasingly large gap between the rich elites and the struggling working classes in America, using an entire city as his backdrop.

No where is that more apparent than the George W. Bush regime, his family and contacts and with him / them in mind he cast Dennis Hopper as the selfish ruthless money grubbing totalitarian like ruler Kaufman (aka George W. Bush). What he rules along with a board of governors of sorts is “Fiddler’s Green”, a skyscraper building on a tiny triangular shaped island I guess it is, as it is surrounded by water on three sides with only bridges connecting it to the mainland. Only the richest of the rich and social lites get to live in Fiddler’s Green, while the rest of society, or what is left of it (after the zombie invasion gobbled up the rest of the living and in the process increasing the size of their masses – see first 3 movies, that is an order) lives around the outside of the building in run down shacks, tents etc… basically they are reduced to peasants and take whatever bones are thrown their way and whatever entertainment they provide, hookers, games, bars etc… And conform to their laws enforced by Kaufman’s own private army force.

Riley (Simon Baker) and Cholo (John Leguizamo) are two of the working stiffs (private army ranks) whose job it is to go outside the city and find supplies, safely tucked away inside an armored, monstrous vehicle designed by Riley and called Dead Reckoning. They must fight through the zombie population (who seem to be slowly remembering what they once were and acting in ways they did when living, congregating together and such) to scavenge the supplies (canned goods, alcohol etc…) and often loose soldiers along the way. Cholo also does dirty work on the side for Kaufman, apparently there is a “suicide” scene where Cholo covers up disposal of the body for Kaufman that was cut out but will be on the DVD later on. When Kaufman denies Cholo his own place inside Fiddler’s Green, Cholo steals Dead Reckoning and threatens to bring down the skyscraper with missiles while Kaufman sends Riley out to stop him on what is almost certainly a suicide mission. And all the while zombies are massing outside the city, led by Big Daddy (Eugene Clark), an evolving ghoul who begins to organize his legion or community into a raging and deadly army.

Well let us just say the zombies learn to walk through water and once the action really starts it is non-stop munching for probably the last 30 minutes. If there is one draw back to this film it is that, with pricey CGI (mainly as fill in’s and landscape type shots) and the studio insisting on a couple big names (something Romero traditionally shies away from) ate away his 15 million budget quickly and reduced the film to 90 minutes. Romero is often apt to stick around the 2 hour mark. It could have benefited from more background, more slum town interactions, more of the zombies apparent evolution etc… But George made a damn good movie with what he had to work with.

As a bit of trivia the effects man Greg Nicotero, while still in college for it, was given the amazing opportunity to work on Romero’s ’85 film Day of the Dead, he remembered that loyalty and turned down Steven Spielberg’s War of the Worlds in order to do this to do Land. It is really tough to say where this ranks in the series of movies, I need the DVD for multiple viewings to answer that for myself. I have obviously seen the other films more than countless times, especially Dawn which I have literally watched around 500 times as it is the greatest horror movie ever made!! I hope all you bastards went out and seen this, because apparently if it does well the studio promised to give George even more money to make another one, even though I think this one was made in mind to be the last. George is getting up there in years but here is to hoping he gets yet another kick at the can with an even higher budget. If you did miss it, then go buy the DVD, no not rent it, buy the thing. By the way I forgot to mention Tom Savini reprises his role from Dawn as “Blade”, well more like “Zombie Blades” now, but it was fucking cool they did that.  ~ Dale

Night of the Living Dead (1968)

This is George A. Romero’s first in his great series of zombie flicks (true to his visions the man made zombie movies in 3 consecutive decades (‘60’s/70’s/’80’s)) This is the black & white classic which center’s on an abandoned (very recently, probably due to the zombie outbreak) country farm house where a couple different small groups of living people hole-up and try and battle their way out to help while keeping everyone within safe from zombie assault. Surprising amount of good gore in a movie so old! You get to see zombies eating meat off human bones, chewing on livers and playing with intestines. You get to see also a freshly zombified daughter within the house brutally stab her mother to death w/ a small gardening shovel - Great! I remember the first time I watched this being shocked at the surprise ending. True classic and a must see go rent/buy it now!!  – Dale Roy

Nightbreed (1989)

Anyone remember this flick released right around the time Clive Barker started to become a household name? This one is based on his book Cabal (great book indeed and it was set right in the area I used to live in Canada! -Dale) which of course is better than the movie and different than the movie but the movie is pretty cool actually.

Nightbreed has plenty of weird characters to deal with and they are almost all violent (a definite plus). The Nightbreed, while not zombies, enjoy devouring human flesh and really hate to be pissed off. They all live below ground under a old graveyard called Midian and they are the last of an ancient species of shape-shifters. Their lives are changed forever when their prophecies come true and a man named Boone walks into their lives. He also brings a clingy girlfriend and a serial killer doctor (played by renowned director David Cronenberg if I’m not mistaken!? - Dale) along so you can imagine the very off-the-wall content and conclusion of this movie.

You have to really see it to understand it but you will not be disappointed. Hey, a guy even severs half of the skin off his head along with most of his hair (That’s gotta hurt) what more can you ask for?   - Jeffrey Kusbel

Phantasm (1979)

I remember the first time I saw this back in 85 when I was a child (Hey, I am only 23) that the Tall Man was one of the scariest motherfuckers I had ever seen! The Tall Man being Angus Scrimm of course who performed the same role in a string of Phantasm films throughout the 80's.

This one, being the first of the series, leaves a lot of areas unfilled. When something starts to happen or the plot begins to unfold, it ends abruptly. They were definitely planning the sequels ahead of time I guess. The Tall Man is the undertaker of a mortuary in a small town and he basically kills people, shrinks the corpses, and uses them as slaves in this world and another. He also uses a small flying sphere as a weapon to end his victims lives. "The Ball" is pretty kickass.

In this film you get to see some blades and a drill protrude form it and stab into some old guys head and drill for brains. Sound fucked up? It is. See this movie and the sequels as well.  – Jeffrey Kusbel

Premutos  (1997)

This is possibly the most violent and bloody film I have ever seen in my life. The first time I watched this movie I just sat with my mouth hanging open in amazement at the mounting body count. The same man who brought us The Burning Moon directed this German gorefest. I’d tell you his name, but I can’t think of it right now. I’m not quite sure what the plot is in this movie, because all of the dialogue is in German, but take my word for it, this isn’t a movie you see for the acting or dialog!

Basically an ancient curse awakens the dead, and we are treated to many scenes of zombie mayhem, and possibly the most headshots ever committed to film. I’m not even going to go into detail as to how the zombies and people meet their doom, because I really don’t want to spoil any of this film. If you are into gore this is THE movie that you have been dying to see.    – Mike Hochins

Puppet Master 6 - Curse Of The Puppet Master (1998)

This is set a few years after the earlier Puppet Master series ended. A professor, who had bought the (killer) puppets at a garage sale, then sets up shop to display his puppets as they move & do tricks for the public. Helped by his pretty daughter (fresh back from college) & a timid local boy he hires as his assistant (his former assistant has mysteriously disappeared), who is routinely picked on by local bullies.

The Professor wishes to make his own living puppets using the boys carving talents. He tells the boy “You must put your soul into your work”. The boy nicknamed “Tank” and the daughter develop a spark between them & do the nasty. The bullies from earlier attack Tank and the girl (molesting her a bit)  which sets up a revenge scenario with the loyal puppets. The puppets seek vengeance and kill the boys w/ a bit of cool gore. Tank starts to weaken and weaken as he comes close to finishing his best puppet.

I love it when the asshole sheriff bites it, more slicing and dicing from the little wooden monster’s than a Ginsu commercial! By the way the zombie / demon looking puppet “Blade” with the knife / hook for hands rocks In a cool twist the seemingly devoted puppets inexplicably attack the Professor ruining his evil plan. Not an amazing movie but the acting was decent and the plot was okay too. I hear Fullmoon is now making Sub-Species 4, hell yeah!  – Dale Roy

Rasputin - The Mad Monk (1966)

Man, what a great flick! This is my personal favorite of the Hammer Horror classics. As soon as Christopher Lee arrives on screen to announce “I am Rasputin” you know this evil looking bearded guy is gonna be a fucking nut. And a nut he proves himself to be as he uses his strange healing powers for his own benefit.

Rasputin consistently get’s drunk and layed throughout this movie and a commanding attitude (reminding me somewhat of early Clint Eastwood roles: Pale Rider, Hang ‘Em High ect.) let’s you know that he won’t be asking for what he desires. Not much gore to speak of, except for the hand severing scene in the beginning, but this film was made in a time when a movie like this didn’t need it and probably would be worse with it (you mean due to the cheesy special effects of the time? - Dale). Now I’ve gotta look into getting myself an authentic Rasputin beard to wear for the next time I watch this.  - Jeffrey Kusbel

Shaun of The Dead (2004)

I know there are a lot of horror fans who were not into this because they thought it was a shot at the genre, like we can laugh at those who watch them. But it is not and the more I learn about the creators the more certain I am about this. They run a comedy movie company but this movie is in their style and it was meant as a tribute to the genre.

Shaun is a 29 year old slacking loafer, who has been neglecting his girlfriend in a big way, she feels he does not do enough upkeep on their relationship and does nothing but the same basic things with his time, video games and the same pub etc… Well she dumps him right in front of his friend & roommate Ed (who is funny as hell and does not give a fuck), who is his partner in the above and tries to cheer him up by getting pissed with him out of his brain, the two stagger home and pass out.

They wake up the next morning with hangovers and are initially hilariously unaware that a massive zombie outbreak has taken place. Shaun walks around the neighborhood to get a drink from the corner store, utterly oblivious to zombies walking around in the distance and the not so distant. He returns back home to find Ed looking into the backyard at a supposedly drunk girl, they soon find out she is the walking dead - all hell breaks loose. They load up with weapons and booze to find parents and his girlfriend, which turns out to be a real undead invasion blast. For those wondering there is plenty of gore too, an impaling, a record in the face, flesh biting and exposed innards, all the lovely things we zombie flick followers crave.

I will not give away too much but we do get to do some great traveling through ghoul territory both by car and by foot. With the film doing the lions share of it’s finish up by them holing up in their favourite bar, boarding it up and what not (hello tribute to Romero, in fact much of this film is a tribute to his works). The pacing is very good in the film and the camera work very competent. I think I will keep this review short for a couple of reasons, one you either will like this concept/style and make sure to see it or you will hate it before you even try and will not bother, second reason is because I am days away from FINALLY finishing this issue and I want to wrap up this section and get the damn thing printed already! So check out this film.  ~ Dale

Singapore Sling (1990)

This B&W movie actually made me feel rather sick to my stomach while watching it, I am surprised that more people haven’t heard of it.  Made in Greece, it features some unbelievably sick scenes of depravity. 

A mother-daughter team of sickos love cutting people apart for fun & burying them in the garden.  The mother for instance enjoys having the daugther dress up as a secretary, & then slam-fucks her with a strap-on. An alcoholic ex-police officer-turned-private-detective attempts to find out what happened to one of their victims.  They strap him into a bed & proceed to torture the shit out of him before he can find out.  The torture is always a mixture of sex with extreme pain or depraved acts-for instance, the daughter has sex with him, & while orgasming, she vomits repeatedly on his face.  In another scene, the daughter gives him shock treatment while he is still strapped to the bed, while the mother rides him in her ass-she then pulls out & pisses on his face.

Things start to get really fucking weird after that, with the daughter dressing up & pretending to be the girl that got killed.  The mother constantly speaks French (untranslated) mixed in with the English, & both the mother & daughter talk to the camera constantly.  It all ends with a climax involving a huge knife used as a strap-on in an act of extreme sodomy. Recommended if you can handle it.

The Stendhal Syndrome (1996)

I’m sick of hearing how shitty Trauma and now Stendhal Syndrome is. Why are so many hung up on Argentio doing a flick exactly like Suspiria, Deep Red, Tenebrae? It’s bullshit!! I’ll admit it took me a few viewings to fully absorb and truly get a grasp on the storyline. The basis of the story is centered on a psychological disorder, which causes one to faint when presented with great works of art. Stendhal Syndrome is in fact a real psychological symptom which detective Anna Manni falls victim too.

We find out Anna is on assignment in Florence to meet with local authorities to exchange info on a brutal serial killer who murders and rapes women by blowing their heads off with a shotgun at the height of his sexual orgasm. Now, if that isn’t cool. Upon a visit to Florence’s Uffica Gallery Anna faints, overcome by her psychological disorder. One of the most striking and memorable images of the film comes when Anna is passed out, wherein she pictures herself transported into a painting swept under the ocean and kissing a large fish, the whole scene is draped in rich blues similar to Suspiria and Inferno. Anna regains conscieness and is confronted by Alferdo Grossi who just happens  to be the killer, outside the Gallery. Eventually Grossi makes Anna one of his victims, starting by murdering a young women right in front of her, were we witness a bullet at close range entering and exiting the woman’s head (though the digital effects are not believable at all ).

The whole incident leaves Anna with a complete personality break down even at one point acting and dressing like a man. Eventually Grossi takes Anna captive. Strapped to a mattress Grossi has his way with her (very violently I might add) with a razor blade. Anna passes out and Grossi leaves, Anna free’s herself from being chained to the matters and waits for Grossi to return. Upon his return, Anna sure enough kicks the shit out of Grossi and even unloads a few rounds from his own gun into him. Well, film over right? Wrong, when Anna’s new boyfriend turns up murdered, Anna can’t help but think that Grossi is still out there. Just what the fuck is going on here? It’s really not all that complicated. Anna was sent to a shrink by her police chief , the shrink turns out to be a headcase himself and ends up killing Anna’s boyfriend and then trying for her. So does Anna get some death? That, I will not give away.

Alright, now I did like STENDHAL SYNDROME but honestly I was left going duh at some of the holes in the plot.  For starters, we find out so little about the killer Grossi, why he kills and that he was married and his wife knew of his crimes. A very interesting idea that should of been developed much more.  The second thing that really bothered was that the end of the movie twist, what a half ass attempt at BIRD WITH A CRYSTAL PLUMMAGE and TENEBRAE!. The third problem was the casting of Asia Argento as Anna. Asia I loved ya in TRAUMA, but you playing the “tuff  bitch” lead role here is not you! So, anyway I came away with a split decision on STENDHAL SYNDROME. We’ll see what WAX MASK does for me  - Bill Conolly

 Virgin Among The Living Dead (1971)

I finally managed to get a fully UNCUT english language print of “Una Vergine Tra I Morti Vivienti/Christina Princesse De L’Erotisme” (VIRGIN AMONG THE LIVING DEAD). Many I bet remember seeing this one at the local video store during the early eighties. 

This is probably Franco’s more well known and widely distributed titles that was severely over-worked with soft core sex inserts thank’s to JEAN ROLLIN (LIVING DEAD GIRL, FASCINATION) being hired to replace the soft core sex with zombie scenes. This is by far one of my fave Franco Films and a fucking weird flick this is. On the death of her father Christina is summoned to the secluded family mansion in the British Hondrus for the reading of his will. There she meets her bizarre, vampirific, corpse-like relatives who practice strange occult activities. Soon she is haunted by her father’s ghostly apparition, unexplained supernatural occurrences and strange manifestations and begins to have nightmares of being raped by zombies.  God damn! Fucking great shit or what? Oh, it’s get’s even better with lesbian blood drinking (yeah, we see a chick with a pair of scissors cutting another girls tit and laping up the blood) a sex orgy in the outdoors, a rape and Jess Franco playing a perverted deth mute. I’m not going to lie and say this is a gorefest (sorry to disappoint the gorehounds) and the story a coherent and easy to follow one. Then again this is a Jess Franco flick, and you either love or hate that fact.

I think the problem people have with Franco as a director is that his approach to film making is way to avant-garde for the basic FREDDY and JASON horror fan. Franco films are just basic images (be it nightmarish, sexual, etc) put to film and like most dreams don’t make alot of sense. Virgin Among The Living Dead works for me visually, and who’s going to argue the fact that there is some fine chicks( with hairy bushes who get  naked alot) to set the “boner meter” off. Go ahead and call me a lame ass Franco fan, but as bad as Franco films are, they’re alot like Lay’s potato chips: “bet you grab for another one”.   – Bill Conolly